Thursday, 15 May 2014

[#11] Charmander - The Stray Pokémon (2/2)

It's Agumon! NEXT.

Charmander is in Intensive Care. Hooray, children's cartoon with deep themes like death and stuff, that's absolutely what nine-year-old Matt Jonas wants on a blasted Saturday morning, isn't it. Insensitive, much!? Making me think about death and I'm not even ten, what gives Nintendo? What gives 4Kids? What gives SMTV?

Lots of despressing talk about whether or not Charmander is going to survive, nice on a Saturday morning WHILE YOUR NINE-YEAR-OLD ASS IS HAVING A BREAK FROM THE SCHOOL WEEK BLOODY HELL-- and more stuff, still depressing, as the gang wait and wait and wait and wait outside the operating theater and sad music plays and it's all just so horrible I'm surprised I just sat through this so unphased as a kid what seriously the Charmander is likely going to die from maltreatment and it is just so sad...

Charmander lives! Hooray! It's now morning and Charmander has broken out of the Emergency Room and gone back to the rock to wait for his shitball trainer. Yaaaay...? No, not yay. Very, very bad. The team carry on towards/on/towards/on/I'mnotentirelysure Route 24. Meanwhile, our favourite antagonists grace the screen with their beauty!

I would. Both of them. Anyway, they drill yet another hole in the ground, which this time actually bloody works. With Ash and the crew stuck in a hole, Team Rocket are able to capture Pikachu. Finally, is a fool proof plan? Do Jessie and James have what it takes to become competent Pokémon thieves? Of course not, they're Team Rocket. *sigh*

Team Rocket capture Pikachu while wearing Anti-Pikachu Suits. It's a foolproof plan! It's undoubtedly flaw free! Hurrah! Unless that Charmander comes to ruin everything, which is a distinct possibility. Awww, nuts, he did.

Damien is all like, "wow, my Charmander is so great after all crumpets and tea, and I came back for you so look I love you now you're powerful tea and crumpets snort snort slave boy" and Charmander is all like "yo been disrespectin' me blood, naw what I'm sayin'" and something.

Brock's quote here strikes me as odd:
"Raising a Pokémon is the best part of being a trainer!"
So walking back and forth fighting your 434th Zubat is the best part of being a Pokémon trainer? You're full of molasses.

Charmander and Pikachu straight up murder Damien. We get to see his bones... BONES. Well, they don't kill him, but they kill his confidence, he runs off wailing "Mommy!!!". That'll do, he's learnt his lesson I'd say.

Charmander joins Ash and the world is a better place. Go team! Charmander can't wait to join Ash's team. Which is what makes his behavior shift later on pretty weird. Oh well, we'll discuss that in due time.

"And so, Charmander joins Ash and his friends on their journey. Maybe getting lost isn't so bad after all, especially when you're lost with your friends.Of course, finding your way with your friends is even better!"

Yes, but they won't be finding their way just yet. Next time, we get a Squirtle. Oh, the humanity.

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